[Chapter 5: The Recursion]
One can be so brave that he can fall and break so many times and still choose to love again. I guess I’m one of those. I don’t know how I do it, but if there’s this someone I really like, I ALWAYS daydream of them in different scenarios. Maybe I’m just imaginative. Too imaginative. What’s worse, it always leads me to over-thinking. And it has been plaguing me ever since.
Just after I was broken twice, I fell in extreme like-hood to someone again. She’s a year below me, which is pretty weird. But I can’t help it; she was so pretty and looked very nice. I don’t know how I did it, that I gambled my feelings again for someone that doesn’t have interest in me. Well, that’s what I always assume. I’m unlikable. What kind of girl could like someone that doesn’t talk to people and listening to sad music? What I tried to do, to put it bluntly, is to force someone to like me. You go along with that person and then you try to change yourself so that she can like you. Both ideas are quite similar, I think. I’ve never heard of such occurrence that two people have the same feelings for each other simultaneously after they’ve met. That’s already even impossible for my case.
That’s about it for now. I liked her, and I tried to go out with her and ‘forced’ her to like me. And I could say that it didn’t go very well.