This time, I’m the one saying it. I’m really sorry.
I’m sorry for running away every time. I’m sorry for always pretending.
Yes, it was my biggest lie of all. And the most beautiful one.
That I’ve moved on.
Every time you see me ignore you, I admit, I still think of you. When I look away, it’s like looking at a monochromatic world. It’s gray, dull and distasteful. But when I look back at you, the pale background slowly becomes saturated with hue and the colors become more intense every second.
Finally, in my eyes, you sparkle.
Maybe that’s how my eyes fell for you when we met for the first time.
However, I wonder how I looked in your eyes. Am I just a speck of dust among others?
That’s what I thought. That’s what I believed. I fooled myself, believing you never wanted me anymore. I tricked myself to stop me from hoping further; to stop me from experiencing more pain. It was because I thought you rejected me for good. And I seriously believed it, because you were infallible in my eyes. That’s why.
We’ve went through a lot of pain, dear. Aren’t we already sick and tired of being hurt again and again? We’re not masochists (well, unless…). There will always be pain in this process, but it is also in our hands to stop it.
Will you keep what you have taken away from me, or are you going to return it and walk away? You’re holding it in front of you. It’s fragile. It’s tired and already worn-out. But it’s still beating. And it’s up to you.